Posted by admin on June 22nd, 2009 in College, Education, Health

We’re not ready to do this yet, but I attended a meeting with college counselors recently and I picked up some good hints.  Being the ever helpful person I am…I thought I’d share some hints for those parents who are closer to sending their child to college than I am.   You may have already thought of many of these things, but at least it will be archived for me when it comes our time!  The information covers both the logistics and the psychological part about parenting a new college student.   The first really good hint I’m going to pass along really came from a parent, not the counselors.   That is…

Use Parent Forums on the School’s Website

One parent highly recommended checking the parent forums on the college’s website.  Many colleges/universities have forums these days and it provides a link between “newbie” parents and parents who have done that and been there.  Seasoned parents are often happy to share hard-earned knowledge about how to navigate the school.

Getting Stuff “There”

If your college student is going to attend a school very far away from home, you face the dilemma as to where and how to transport items to school.  Most dorm rooms are fairly standard fare; twin bed, chest of drawers/armoire and a desk.  Keep in mind things like microwaves and refrigerators can often-times be rented on campus and returned at the end of the semester.  Stores like Bed, Bath and Beyond have a system by which you can visit your local store, order your bedding and other dorm needs and you can pick it up at the BB and Beyond near the school.   If your teen is going to attend school across the country from where you live, this is a big plus. Remember the beds in dormitory rooms are usually longer than a normal twin bed.   If your teen is attending school overseas, even more reason to buy bulky bedding items and small accessories like alarm clocks and lights near the school.  Shipping costs more than the items usually.

If you are one of the “lucky” ones that will be cramming a van or U-Haul with all the needs of your college student, remember the room at home  is (probably)  larger than a dorm room.  Usually freshman live in a dorm and share a room.  Room-mates have as much “stuff” as your child (maybe more).  Consider  there will be double the “stuff”.

Transitioning from Home to College

Remember, it’s easier to leave people you love when you are mad at them or irritated.  The college counselors reminded everyone that their kids would probably pick fights in the weeks and months leading up to their departure.  This due to their own emotional response to leaving home.  Their advice?  Just stay cool and remember why things are a little rocky.  Once your teen is in attending classes, remember to wait before “jumping in” on a crisis.    Any crisis they may have regarding school is now their responsibility.  Obviously if there is a security or health crisis or concern, a parent needs to step in.  Otherwise, let your young adult  handle it.  College is after all, the proving ground for adult-hood.

Watch for signs of stress – changes in physical behaviors and/or abrupt attitudinal changes.

When They Come Back Home for a Visit

Think about whose rules reign.  Make sure you discuss and make clear what the house rules are and your expectations when your college-student returns home.  They’ve been gone from home operating on a (probably) completely different schedule.  Sleep patterns have changed and they may be jet-lagged.   Make it clear what you expect from them in terms of contributing around the house and being around the house.  Many kids drop their dirty laundry off and disappear to re-connect with high-school friends making their parents feel completely left out.  Discuss this ahead of time.

Budgets and Money

The beginning of each semester is the most costly.  This is when fees and book purchases are made.  Check out used books that can be purchased for a fraction of the new book cost.  Also, remember the library.  A book doesn’t always have to be purchased sometimes the professor makes it available in the library.

Think about and discuss with your college-student how they will get money from you.  Or, did they have a source of their own money from working?  Remind them to protect their personal identity.  You may want to invest in an inexpensive shredder so that personal banking statements and papers with social security numbers can be shredded.  Social security numbers are used frequently as a means of identification on college campuses.  Identity thiefs know this.

Health Care

Will your student use the college health care service?  Will they still be covered under your family policy?  If so, research ahead of time what to do about prescription refills and glasses or contact refills.  Also, think about how and when their annual physical will be taken care.  Make sure you understand the Health Center’s payment policy and whether your policy will cover their use.

That covers it.  I still have two more years to think about this but for those of you facing imminent departure of your teenager – congratulations this part of your job is done.  Now on to the next stage.