Posted by admin on February 24th, 2009 in Internet Use

I know it’s common for parents to be concerned about internet safety for their children.  As they grow up their  relationship with the digital world becomes more complex.

Problem is, I think it’s time to stop focusing on predators and start focusing on what our own kids are doing online.  I’ve written several posts about Facebook, texting and the new ways in which teenagers communicate and connect with each other.  I’ve also made it clear that I think it can be very confusing for parents.  Including me.  I’ve used this blog as an excuse to educate myself about everything teenager.  I’m not an expert yet, believe me but I refuse to sit on the sidelines and let my kids engage in activities that I don’t understand.  Which leads me to this question….

Do YOU know what kind of “Digital Citizen” your teenager is???

According to recent research, only 15% (yes, that’s right) only 15% of parents are “in the know” about their kids’ social networking habits, and how these behaviors can lead to cyberbullying.  According to the National Crime Prevention Center, over 40% of all teenagers with Internet access have reported being bullied online during the past year.  So, SOMEONE’S kid is doing some bullying and they are doing it online.  So, the question for  parents is,” whose kids are doing the bullying and how do we make it stop?”  I am not implying that we need to finger-point or even to freak-out with our teens and suddenly ask them a million questions.  What I AM suggesting however is that we actively decide TODAY to get involved in our teenagers digital lives.  Here are some examples of what kids frequently do that qualify as “cyberbullying”:

• steal someone’s name and password to a social networking site (Facebook) then using that person’s profile, post rumors, gossip or other damaging information
• alter photographs using PhotoShop or other photo editing software in order to humiliate another person
• record conversations without the individual’s knowledge or consent, then posting the call online
• create confrontational or mean-spirited online polls about someone and post them on different web sites.
• use blogs or web-sites to post hurtful, embarrassing information about someone
• Facebook specifically provides a variety of ways to be mean-spirited and start a “hate campaign” against an individual (I’ve written about ways to “help” prevent this)
• exclusionary: keep someone out of a group conversation online
• stalking; repeated conversations or texting

What Can Parents Do?

• Find out what sites they are on.
• Ask to see their privacy settings
• Teach them about cyber-bulllying
• Let them know it’s ok to report cyber-bullying
• Watch for sign of victimization (depression, sadness, changed behavior regarding the internet, avoidance of school/friends)
• Tell them how to stop the bullying by:  saving  the evidence, telling an adult,  NOT retaliating,

As a responsible adult, if you discover (or your child tells you) an incident of cyber-bullying you can:

• file a complaint on the website,
• You can also contact the school or the bully’s parent( if you know who it is)
• In more serious cases you can contact a lawyer or the police and file a report.

Ask Your School about Their Cyber-Bullying Policy

It’s time we get involved and that means the schools should be involved.  Parents, School, Kids – the powerful trio that makes it possible for success.  I don’t think parents can do it all.  Schools should take a stand, issue policy statements about cyber-bullying just as they have for plagiarism, bullying and any other behavior that involves students at school We had a problem with bullying once in elementary school, and I can tell you it is a heart-wrenching situation for a parent to watch their child belittled and bullied.  Let’s get involved to eliminate cyber-bullying.

Does YOUR school have a policy?