Posted by admin on February 21st, 2009 in Dating

My kids say dating is dead.    At least, the way my generation dated.    Of course, they don’t really know how  we  dated- they assume.  They think I had  high-collared chaperones accompanying me on dates.   But, you know, they’re right about one thing.   I dated like my parents.  They DON’T date like me OR my parents.

These days the model has changed.   Teen-agers mostly “Facebook date”, group date or some combination.  So, it’s really hard for a parent to figure out if the daughter or son is “dating” that certain person you are wondering about.    You know…interested in them in that way.

Testing the Waters

I think we  should design a checklist so we can measure the “interests” of our kids with the opposite sex.   Sort of a thermometer of the relationship.   Are they just friends? OR….?  You know you can’t just ASK your kid.  They don’t want you to know until they’ve figured it out or maybe…never.  It would be; “like, you know….embarrassing.”  Since we are all  good parents, it’s possible to pick up clues but it’s not always that easy.   My kids are very good at hiding potentially embarrassing information.  They could be mercilessly teased by their brother/sister, and frankly it doesn’t benefit them much for me TO know.   So  here’s a few questions I’ve thought of – what are yours?

• Does your son/daughter blush and look away when “the person’s” name is mentioned?
• Do they spend more time texting and Facebook with this person than others?
• When they see this person is it usually in a group?
• Do they ever do things with only this person.  Not in a group?
• If they are going to “meet friends’ at a dance, is this person always there?
• Do they look concerned if you question “this person’s” character/personality/smarts…?
• Do you hear your kids friends mentioning” the person of interest” and glancing at your kid?

While we’re on the subject, what about “hooking up”?    And, what the heck IS “hooking up”?  As best I can figure, it can mean any number of things depending on who you are talking to, so don’t panic.  It depends on the age of the kid and what terms their group uses to define “hooking up”.  I’m going to delve into this subject a little deeper over the next few weeks.  I’ve got several good resources to share with you and some insights gained.  But, for now…do you have a small checklist or warning light that goes off in your head when you start noticing “someone” new on your teen’s radar?  Please share with us!